A thank you on behalf of Starvin Marvin

Me in the Sunderland Echo

This is a very belated thank you to all of you who sponsored me for doing my Comic Relief challenge. In the end I raised £600 for a very good cause. I didn’t even think I’d reach £100 so thank you for being so generous! Because of your kindness, many of these poor things won’t have to be put down and can be re-homed instead…………oh, sorry, wrong charity…..

For those who don’t know, I agreed to change my voice for a whole week to one that sounded like a cross between Mickey Mouse, all three of the Bee Gees and Michael Jackson. In fact, I sounded like this….

I would have said thanks earlier but I’ve been repairing the damage that has been done to my reputation by talking to important people in such a silly voice. This was especially the case when someone rang up for advice and seemed a little confused (or frightened) as to who he was talking to. In fact, he said he would ring back with more information and he never has. If you’re reading this Mister, I apologise if you are now seeking medical help. I guess my laughing didn’t help the situation but, hey, it was very funny.

I also apologise to the people in the meetings I attended who had no idea I was doing such a challenge. The looks on your faces when I spoke were awesome though. I must thank my colleagues in the office as well who put up for the voice for so long. I’m very impressed that I didn’t get hit with something.

It wasn’t all bad though. The media whore inside of me had a whale of a time. I got in the Sunday Sun, the Sunderland Echo and even the Toby Churchill website.

I also got to sing ‘Stayin’ Alive’ by the Bee Gees (did you know that, statistically, 2 out of 3 Bee Gees are Stayin Alive)….

Aerosmith’s ‘I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing’…..

My mate Stephen Hawking popped in to read out tweets by 50 Cent….

….and I also read out problem page letters and did some other requests as well.

All in all, I had fun doing it (despite it being cringeworthy and embarrassing). The final total can be found at

Now the challenge is to find my next fundraising opportunity. I think I’m going to compete in a marathon dressed as Michael Jackson. Not quite sure which race yet though.

Let’s face it though, it’s not all about fundraising. When the London Marathon was sponsored by Mars you used to get a Mars bar when you finished the marathon. Then, when it was sponsored by Flora, you used to get a tub of margarine. The sponsor is now Virgin.

I shaved my eyebrows off for charity once. Turns out they would have preferred money. Who knew.

I don’t know which charity I’d support either. I was going to do a run for blind kids but I thought that would be easy to win. Isn’t it about time they had a fundraising event for bears that are blind in one eye anyway?

At least I’m not alone in my fundraising. My girlfriend is essentially a prostitute who does a lot of charity work. She’s also started giving money to a charity that supports children who ‘have had a bad start to life’ – Sunderland fans.

I don’t think things will last between us anyway though. One of those charity bags came through the letterbox the other day asking for any unwanted things you could live without. She tried to put me in it. How rude. The joke is on her though, I buy her ‘sexy’ underwear from Oxfam. It may be cheap but it’s not to be sniffed at!