Hitler – proof that disabled people can do a job properly……kinda

So, Conservative MP Philip Davies thinks that disabled people should work for less than the minimum wage. News that is sure to alarm Michael Owen who would stand to lose an awful lot if this practice became acceptable.

Hitler - a role model for all

Mr. Davies went on to say that disabled people weren’t as productive in the workplace as their able-bodied colleagues and, because of this, employers needed an incentive to employ them. As with most things that the Conservatives say, I’d have to disagree.

Take, for example, Adolf Hitler. He only had one testicle but that didn’t seem to stop him. On the contrary, he seems to have done quite well for himself……up to a point (there’s always going to be SOME barriers preventing disabled people achieving their goals). Having one bollock didn’t stop him from rising to become the leader of the National Socialist German Workers Party (more commonly known as the Nazi Party….but sounding more civil). In fact, I’m sure that his disability spurred him on to make a name for himself. He wasn’t going to lie down and let able-bodied people take all the glory. Oh no. He wasn’t even entitled to a disabled parking badge under German law at the time. He could have complained, he could have kicked up a fuss, but he didn’t. He just got on with it.

He didn’t claim false expenses, he didn’t call anyone a bigot, he didn’t sleep around like many able-bodied MPs do today. If anything, he was a credit to his nation. A disabled person who tried to make a name for himself and succeeded. Everywhere he went, people shouted “Hi Hitler” and gave him a little wave.  Fair enough, he went off the rails a little towards the end but who doesn’t? Hitler may have killed 6 million Jews, but he saved the History Channel.

Even now, his memory lives on. He is responsible for Call Of Duty: World At War and his moustache is recognised around the world. It’s not worn as often any more though, I’m not sure why?

Of course, Hitler isn’t the only disabled person to make something of themselves. Look at Abu Hamza and Heather Mills. No wonder no-one trusts amputees any more but that’s not the point. You know who they are!

Then there’s Wayne Rooney. Mr. Davies claims that people with mental health problems should accept lower wages to get their feet on the ladder (or foot in Heather’s case). But Wayne seems to be doing perfectly fine on his own. Fair enough, he has his moments like when he spotted his reflection in the TV camera and started arguing with it but we can allow for lapses now and again. Despite his obvious disability, he earns millions of pounds every year. Well done him!

Let’s face it, having a token disabled person in the office is good for any employer. For a start, it makes people run that little bit faster when there’s a fire alarm. No-one wants to get stuck behind a cripple on the stairs! If you’re having an affair at work, the disabled toilets provide you with much more room to have a quick grope of Sally from accounts too. If we didn’t employ disabled people, there wouldn’t be any need for disabled toilets. You’d also have to walk up more stairs because there wouldn’t be any ramps or lifts.

As a society, we shouldn’t be labelling people as disabled anyway! It’s offensive and a huge waste of stickers. Does it really matter how many disabled people are stuck on benefits? It’s just going to make the Paralympics easier to win.

In conclusion, MP Philip Davies is wrong, disabled people are just as capable of doing a good a job as anyone else. Adolf Hitler is the only proof you need.

On a more serious note, I have Cerebral Palsy. I have 3 A grades at A-Level, an undergraduate degree, a Masters degree (which the BBC paid for because I’d impressed them during several days of tough assessments). I’ve worked at the BBC and been in a current well paid job for over four years now. Please don’t tell me that disabled people can’t do a job properly and should accept less than the minimum wage, Mr Davies. I’m way better at what I do than you’ll ever be!

  10 comments for “Hitler – proof that disabled people can do a job properly……kinda

  1. June 18, 2011 at 4:43 pm

    brilliant.!!!!!!!! id expect nothing less. ;o)

  2. Jamie Caven
    June 18, 2011 at 7:57 pm

    Great writing, you have a gift for chucklesome prose. it made me laugh a lot even if you have completely misrepresented what he said.

    • Lee
      June 18, 2011 at 8:39 pm

      Haha, thanks for the comment. Much appreciated.

  3. Sarah
    June 18, 2011 at 8:25 pm

    Hey I’m from the US. How do you know Hitler only had one testicle? You definitely have a way with words. I support your fight against this wage descrimination. As a person with a disability myself I am in shock that your Prime Minister is even putting this ludicurous idea up. Shame on him! All the best!

  4. June 18, 2011 at 9:49 pm

    BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. February 8, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    Can’t believe it’s took me this long to discover you, and that’s only because of the recent gig publicity. Fantastic!!! My sense of humour to a t. I’ve got to try and get to one of your gigs.

    • Lee
      February 8, 2012 at 9:21 pm

      Glad you enjoyed it!

  6. April 14, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    Excellent and funny–I was also wondering why I had never heard that Hitler only had one testicle!

    • Lee
      April 15, 2012 at 8:03 am

      Thanks

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