Supporters wanted for my X Factor audition piss take

As you may know, The X Factor auditions are in Newcastle this weekend and I am planning to gatecrash that particular party with my own monotone singing style. You can read all about it in my previous blog post, Not Now Silent Singer.

But if you think I’m going on my own, you can fuck off. This is where you come in. I need supporters to join me at the Metro Radio Arena this Saturday (10th March) morning as I plan on showcasing my undoubted singing talents to the nation (if they let me through the door). Unfortunately, the whole thing starts at 8am, which would mean having to meet just before that.

I realise that this is a bit of an ask. No-one wants to get up that early on a Saturday (unless you’ve slept with Danny Dyer while drunk on Friday night and need to make a quick exit). But I think that this could be very, very amusing. Even if it is just to see the look on their faces as the whole thing dawns on them.

If you do want to come along on Saturday morning just before 8am, let me know in the comments or by contacting me and I’ll send you the details.

If you don’t want to come along, screw you!