Wanted: Geordie accent

Geordie Lost Voice Guy Do you have a Geordie/County Durham accent? Do you like to talk a lot? Would you like to donate your voice to me to use on my iPad? Then read on. 

The very kind people at CereProc have offered to make me my very own Geordie accent for my iPad, so that I don’t have to sound like a posh version of Robocop anymore (although I will miss telling that joke!). 

And that’s where I need your help. I need someone who is willing to donate their voice to me. I promise it isn't as scary as it sounds! In fact, the process is quite simple. You’d just need to spend a total of around 8 hours in a recording studio, while CereProc record all the sounds they need to create my new voice. You’d be paid for your time in the studio, and you’d have my eternal gratitude. 

Ideally I am looking for a male voice, who is aged between 30 and 40, and has a mild Geordie/County Durham accent (my family are from Consett, so I’d like to sound as similar to them as possible). 

If you think you fit the bill and you’d be keen to help, please record yourself reading the following paragraph below (written in bold) from my book (which is available to pre-order in paperback now!) and send the audio recording to [email protected] . I will then listen to them all and choose which I think would suit me the best. Please DO NOT apply if you know me personally though. No offence to my mates, but that’d just be a bit too weird!

In a way it’s quite nice to be able to talk to you without hearing my UK Adult Male Graham. My real voice is my head voice, the one that I hear every day of my life but the one you’ll probably never hear. I write using my head voice. And, on the page, I can get all of my thoughts over to you. This rarely happens in real life because of the delay between me having a thought and typing it out on my talker. I often want to say something but the moment passes before I’ve had the chance to say it . . . although, on the upside, the time lag has definitely saved me from getting into arguments and having my head kicked in on numerous occasions. All that typing just isn’t worth the hassle. And even if I wanted to, I couldn’t sound angry anyway. My actual voice is very monotone.

If you want a bit more information about the process involved in donating and developing a new voice, you can watch a film I made for The One Show where I helped a young man called Jack getting a Black Country accent. 

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Lost Voice Guy

Lost Voice Guy

Comedian. Disabled before it was popular. The Geordie without an accent.

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Don’t have nightmares 😂😂
Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Rest in peace, Steve. Thanks for always making me so welcome on your show. You were one of the greats ❤️
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